bleep. gluk. iiiiitxzqfrzpt.

eebil glurgle flitzen glik prbbbttzzshhh.


SO, here's what's happened.

You've typed in a URL or you've clicked on a link to get here.

Either that or you've magically transported your sorry ass into the 'deep web' and we've started injecting malicious code into your machine, right now. We're already transporting all those weird videos you've stored in that hidden folder onto wikileaks. 

Just kidding. 

We wouldn't do that. 

Or would we? 

Naaa, we wouldn't. No messing around. 

More than likely what's happened is that you've clicked on something somewhere else, a page that was referencing another page on Heavy Chef from long ago. Ok. So you're aware, this site has undergone various iterations over the past few years. The version you're looking at is just the latest in a long line of 'design changes' our creative team have demanded. You see, Heavy Chef is a passion project. And believe us, something goes seriously wrong in the creative brain when you say 'passion project' to those frikken guys. Suddenly all kinds of creative weirdness comes along, and everyone wants to own the goddam thing. All of a sardine, we ended up with a augmented-reality-infused, artificially-intelligent paralax-scrolling, animated-gif emblazoned, interactive mother*&%er of a site. 


This is NOT that site tho. This is a new site, and we're working hard to transport the reams of content from the old to the new. This new is a beautiful, gleaming breath of fresh air. 

It does, however, have some glitches. So, hence why you're here. 

So, here's what you got to do.

  • You can click on the 'back' arrow to get to the page you were at. 
  • If you don't wanna do that, scroll down to the bottom of the page, see the 'search' field? Yep, click in that sucker. Try find the thing you were looking for. 
  • If that doesn't work, go to the home page and navigate your way round using the top navigation menu. 
  • If that doesn't work, then, well, here's a picture of a hamster stuffing an entire cracker into its mouth. 

With love from the good people at Heavy Chef.