Want to change the world?
We're specifically looking for a smart, non-jaded millennial who had just realised that he/she spends far too much time on his/her mobile phone infinitely scrolling through social feeds. This person should be hungry like a wounded cage-fighter, connected like a Capetonian hipster and as articulate as a Daily Maverick journo. We want a plucky individual, one step away from a 1/4 life crisis, ready to take on the most inspiring job of a lifetime.
- Must have a decent taste in music.
- Should have an interesting haircut, or at least one tattoo with meaning.
- Must have a strong opinion, about something.
- You will be asked this opinion in the interview.
- At the very least, should have a blog, or some kind of writing platform, where at least one politically correct person was offended after reading.
- Should be able to string a sentence together. Or tie a knot. Or walk and chew gum at the same time.
If you believe that an 'open canvas' is the utopia you're looking for, then this job is NOT for you. The job requires someone who can zero in on a single task: make Heavy Chef great. Not okay. Not nice. Not rad. We want our humble platform to be considered amongst the top echelons of great event and media companies in the history of the world, ever. Think you have the chops to do it? Well, what you waiting for sukka? - apply already.
- Must know who David Carson is.
- Should have at least one Hawaiian shirt / skirt in their wardrobe.
- Should have their portie available to view online.
- Should have at least one kick.ass, world-beating piece in their portie.
- Should never, ever, ever say the word portie in public.